As it turns out, May is mental health month, and as it is something that is very dear and important to me, I wanted to do something significant. I saw this post on tumblr and it gave me some inspiration. Hopefully I can work this out. Rather than doing this on my actual tumblr account – which is a mix of fandom gifsets and sarcastic text posts – I decided that I would write a blog post every week, following the ideas given in this post I just mentioned before.
The prompt for week 1 is
Post it for you
How you practice self-care and personal well-being
The idea is to post acts of self-care, and positive things.
As you may or may not know, I have been dealing with depression and anxiety for some time now. When I look by and read my old diaries, I actually realise it may have been longer than I actually realise. I could have gotten help way sooner. But let’s not dwell on that. I’ve been seeing a therapist last year, and it really helped. But then I moved to Berlin. And for a time, I was still feeling okay. But now, not so much. You see, mental illness is a tricky thing. It has ups and downs. You can have months where you feel better, you feel like you finally have your shit together. And maybe it’s going to last forever. But chances are, it’s not.
Here are some things that I like doing when I feel like I am spiralling down again into my dark thoughts and the prison of my mind:
* Drink something warm, tea or hot chocolate
* Listen to some piano, either classical music, or covers. I have made some playlists on 8tracks, like this one and this one.
* Scroll through the sunset tag on tumblr because it’s beautiful
* Go to bookstagram, just to watch pictures of books, because I always find it calming
* I have this picture of me and two of my friends making ridiculously ugly faces, and for some reasons, when I look at it, it helps cheer me up
* When I have inspiration, I also write poetry
* Accept it, and know that eventually it will get better
* Talk with a friend
I also sometimes do breathing exercise, as my therapist recommended to me last year. I try to do cardiac coherence, it usually works when I am about to have a panic attack, or just feel very stressful. It only takes 5 minutes. I used to leave class all the time last year when I was feeling like I was about to lose it, or explode, and would just go sit on the toilet and do this. You can do it with a video like this one or just take 5 seconds to inhale, 5 seconds to exhale. The video helps to focus if you need to. And it’s very helpful and simple if you need to calm down. This breathing exercise also helps concentrate on something specific, which can help me escape from my thoughts before it gets out of hand.
And always remember, that it can get worse, but it will always get better.
I know that my parents are not a happy place for me, we have too many things we disagree on, and over the years, as much as I love them, it seems to be getting worse. But I also know that I have wonderful friends who will always be there for me, even if in my dark times, it is hard to convince myself of it.
Sometimes, I will go to bed crying, and hoping that I never wake up again. But always, in the morning, I will feel better.
♥ Here’s a happy kitten for you ♥
♥ Stay safe, and stay awesome ♥