One thing my parents did right…

My relationship with my parents is more complicated than I ever thought it would be when I was a kid. But we are working on it. The problem is, they are more on the conservative side when it comes to politics – and everything actually – while I clearly am not. They are very religious, when I can’t see myself going to church anymore, because of all the sexist and racist things I heard the last time I went there. Not to mention the fact that they are against gay marriage. And the fact that my mother once told me she believes feminism is not necessary anymore, as equality has been achieved. My own mother. It really breaks my heart.

However, I just stumbled across this text post on tumblr, and it made me realise that at least, they did this right when they raised me.

parenting

When I was a kid attending Halloween parties, my grandmother would make my costumes herself. And I clearly remember vividly two of the costumes I wore when I was very little: a clown costume, and a pumpkin costume. While all my friends would wear variations of princess or witch costumes, I was dressed up as a pumpkin. So here we go. My parents weren’t giving me cliché gendered costumes. And I think that’s beautiful.

I also remember vividly that while I was playing with my dolls and barbies, my little brother would get jealous, so my parents bought some for him as well.

One more memory is that of a Christmas morning, where he got an electric train, and we are both crouching on the floor playing with it. This picture is framed on the wall, in my grandmother’s house, and I really love it. In a way, it gives me hope, and I wanted to share this here.

This is important. Let your kids play with what they want. Don’t force gender roles on them. It can even create some funny, cute memories. I honestly believe that if I had been dressed as a princess for all Halloween and birthdays as a kid, I wouldn’t remember it. But I was dressed up as the most cute pumpkin ever, and I love this memory.

I just stumbled accross this post on tumblr and it brought back all these memories. I am so proud of my parents, and my childhood. Being a pumpkin (or a clown or a dinosaur or whatever) is super cool. Don’t be a cliché!

I hope you enjoyed this little story, and I hope you have a wonderful day! Feel free to share some thoughts it the comments!

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3 thoughts on “One thing my parents did right…

  1. Wow can I relate to this! Just last night, I stayed up late arguing politics with my conservative grandparents who are visiting me right now. And then this morning, we hugged, and my grandpa offered to make me hot chocolate like he used to when I was a little girl.

    It can be so, so hard to reconcile your love and appreciation for your family with their ideas that contrast drastically with your own. I’m not trying to excuse ignorance, but I also think it’s important to acknowledge that we can discuss or even argue fiercely while still loving each other and seeing each other as more than black or white. Some of the things that have come out of my grandparents’ mouths blow my mind, but they’ve also taught me good values, self confidence, and to fight for my beliefs, even when those beliefs don’t match their own.

    And three cheers for parents who are careful about enforcing gender roles on their kids! Sometimes I think my parents were a bit crazy about it — I wasn’t allowed to have Barbies, for example, because my mom said they over-sexualize women, and while that’s true, I don’t know how much of a difference it really would have made — but I do appreciate the thought they put in to raising me to think of myself as smart and brave and powerful before pretty and delicate and likable/attractive.

    I really love your Halloween costumes anecdote! Keep fighting the good fight with your parents! Maybe they’ll change their minds or maybe they won’t — you can’t control them — but you can stay true to yourself and your beliefs and hopefully they’ll respect that.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks for such an amazing comment! I think it’s always important to keep your mind clear when you have this kind of argument with your family… Which is something I find rather hard to do. Stay awesome!

      Liked by 1 person

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