For the past two years, I have tried and failed at NaNoWriMo, though I love writing and I know it. Both times, I wrote about 13K of a story I never touched again. Things got too complicated, there were some plot holes, and I lost the courage and the inspiration to finish the story and fill in the blanks. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about my love for books and writing, partly through this blog which proved me that I did love books more than anything in the world, and also that I could write things even if it was not books. At least for the time being. Writing on this blog is also writing, and I love it, though I haven’t been very active lately. I still keep coming back with new ideas, and I’m not leaving any time soon.
I figured that maybe, it was just not the time yet for me to write a novel. I’m not giving up entirely. But I still have so much time ahead of me. And so many ideas. It’s just that maybe, the time hasn’t come yet, and I need to mature a little bit more. Maybe I have issues to solve first, and it would be better to take care of my mental health first. When I am better, I can start this big giant step, this huge project. The day will come. It’s just not now. And maybe it will be through NaNoWriMo, maybe it won’t. I don’t even have a novel idea this year, and I don’t have time to write.
However, there is something I want to do this November when it comes to writing. Through the past year (and more actually) I have been writing a lot of short poems so express mostly what it feels like to have depression and anxiety. Most of them are gathered together in a notebook, some are left in my phone or my diary. My plan for this month is to type and arrange all of them, because I want to publish them. So this month, I won’t be writing a novel, but I still wanted to do something that on the one hand, has to do with writing, and on the other hand, means a lot to me. I’ve had this idea on the back of my mind for a while, and I think the time finally has come. Fingers crossed!
That being said, cheers to all of you who are taking part in NaNoWriMo this month, you have no idea how much I admire you! And I wish you all the best, whether you’re taking part or not!